I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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