shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
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He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
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I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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