do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Randomize
