I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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