just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
