my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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