your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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