Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize