this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
