Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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