That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
