Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
did i just pee glitter
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
