I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
25 Adults Reveal The Most Embarrassing Stories From When They Were Kids
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash