the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.