we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
