Its about making memories worth repressing
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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