i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
