We named our party play list daddy issues
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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