ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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