We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize