just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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