I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
We don't watch enough power rangers
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
