Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Randomize
