No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
