I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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