I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize