There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize