we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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