she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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