I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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