i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
My life is pants optional.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
