I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
