Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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