but the lizard people decide everything anyway
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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