I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
