spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
