Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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