i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
