So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
