And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
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I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
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I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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