i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
