He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
