Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
