Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day in three words: secret purse cake
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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