Well apparently he's into motor boating.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
