This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
