Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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