i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
