Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
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stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
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I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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