are you still at the devil's house?
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
