Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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