Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
