She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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