he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
