I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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