I smell stomach acid.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
