Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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