How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
